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Growing up, my sister and I were not allowed to use curse words. We couldn’t even tell each other to “shut up” without getting side looks from our parents (imagine our joy when the Black Eyed Peas’ “Shut Up” came on!). When I saw videos of parents allowing their toddlers and preschoolers time to drop F-bombs down the toilet, also known as the “Bad Words Bathroom Challenge,” I realized that doing so encourages bad behavior. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were there or if they were having a negative impact on the children. A healthy outlet.
Like most parents, I’ve let the occasional curse word (or two) slip around my toddler. And of course she repeated them. I try not to laugh in the moment so as not to encourage her to keep using profanity, but I find it a bit comical (and dare I say cute) for a pint-sized human to say “fuck”. (Can you say that?) You have to admit that there is something. But what I won’t do is post that act on Beyoncé’s internet for the world to see (and judge). But that’s just me.
“I think it’s really difficult for young children to know, “You can do this here, but you can’t do it anywhere else.” That’s a difficult concept for a 2- or 3-year-old,” the professor said. Yes, says Erin O’Connor, director of New York University’s early childhood education program and director of education at Cooper, an online parenting resource. “It’s almost like we’re condoning it by letting it happen in a certain space and then putting it online adds another element to it.”
Uploading your child’s antics to social media is a normal part of parenting today, and doing so is a surefire way to build community with other parents. But like most things, there are drawbacks as well.
“It’s almost a positive reward to give kids,” O’Connor said of the challenge, which gives kids the opportunity to use profanity. “They love seeing themselves on camera, and it positively reinforces that behavior.”
When it comes to children and name-calling, it’s only a matter of time. From as early as the age of two, it is natural for children to understand swear words and their context. Most of the time, the word doesn’t mean anything to them and they just think it’s funny to say.
But once your child is 3 1/2 or 4 years old, explain to them that curse words can hurt other people’s feelings, even if the words they’re using aren’t offensive. Start conversations about age-appropriate language. . Asking them to think about how they would feel if someone said something hurtful to them will make them more mindful of the words they use.
Rather than punishing children for swearing, Professor O’Connor recommends discouraging the behavior by not overreacting (or laughing) when it happens. To take it a step further, you can involve your child in the process, giving him a small reward every time he hears you swear, making him a kind of accountability buddy.
“It gives them some control over how certain language is used because it’s inevitable. They’re going to swear in front of the kids,” she says. “You could also say, ‘Mom, I try not to use these words, but sometimes they slip out.'” Just as I would encourage you to avoid using them, Please help me stop using that word too. So we are in this together. ” It’s like team building. ”
Asking your child to use different words is also an effective tactic for reducing swearing. Instead of the F-word, you can say “fudge” or “sugar” instead of “s***.”
“Replacement can be effective because it allows them to have some control and feel like they’re ‘doing what they want to do.’ They’re not using words that we don’t want them to use,” O’Connor said.
And when you mess up (trust me, there are no perfect parents), remember to give yourself grace and own up to your actions.
“It’s a good learning moment for kids to know that you’re not so hard on them,” says O’Connor. “I could have said, ‘I didn’t mean to say that.’ I was upset because I was worried that I was going to get into an accident while driving. I used a word that I shouldn’t have, but… , Sometimes things like that happen. It’s okay to fail.”
Ask us about L’Oréal: I’m a mother, journalist, motivational speaker, and author of the following books: stop waiting for perfection. Consider me your personal cheerleader and new mom friend who loves to call doctors and specialists to guide you through the answers to your questions. Instagram or X (Twitter) or email us at heylifeeditors@yahooinc.com to share your thoughts.
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